‘Materialists’ is No Modern Romance

“I was born poor and raised poor. I’m a college dropout. I have no dowry. In fact, I have a negative dowry,” Lucy (Dakota Johnson) tells Harry (Pedro Pascal) on a date. She’s confused why a “unicorn” like Harry — who is tall, handsome, and very rich — would fall for her, a 35-year-old matchmaker in New York City. The math isn’t mathing.

“Do I look like I need a dowry?” Harry retorts.

If this weren’t a scene out of director Celine Song’s Materialists, you might be forgiven if you thought you were watching a Bollywood movie. Here’s a story about a woman torn between her broke ex, John (Chris Evans), and a private equity man with a $12 million penthouse, Harry. It’s giving Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) and Rangeela (1995) — and it’s totally obvious who she’s going to choose. But Materialists promises its audiences something far more: this is a “modern romance,” one made for the year 2025, where dating apps and infinite choice are de rigueur. Though there’s plenty of humor and an exceptional marketing campaign, Reader, I didn’t walk away with any butterflies.